Information Overload

Online dating. Honestly the last thing that I wanted to hear from my friends. I know people who have met the love of their lives off the internets and are happily married.  I don’t know where they find these people, because most of the men that I meet on the internet are creepo’s with one thing on their mind. Or write messages like “Ur cute. Mzg me back plzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Please tell who the hell responds to that kind of message.
This girl.
”I don’t know what you were trying to write me, but it does leave me with a question.
WoUlD yOu ReSpOnD tO a GiRl ThAt wRoTe 2 U lIkE tHiS?! (That took way to much effort… why the hell do they write like that anyway? It takes forever.) No? Well then you understand why you are not getting a normal response.Thanks.”

So, this is actually a post about my first date with a man I met off the internet.
Aries man  contacts Cancer woman (That would be me!).
Woman is skeptical about this man. We actually email each other. At least four paragraphs. Compared to the impaired speller… that’s amazing. We have witty conversation.
Exchange phone numbers. Decide to actually meet one another.

A week later, I’m sitting at a bar/pool hall- talking to the bartender and giving him a hard time because he’s never made an old fashioned, let alone had one.
Sad story, but he was cute so I wasn’t too harsh. Plus he gave me a free drink… SCORE!
That alone made my night better. Sit and wait I did.
Then all of a sudden, the stool next to me moves. I look. o.O
Skinny skinny man, looks at me too. We eye each other up.
I’m feeling good, since I’ve already got one 7&7 down… (with hardly any dinner eaten.)
I begin to chat- it’s a tad awkward, but it gets better.
We decided to play pool.  I’m going to be straight forward with you. I’m not that bad at pool, but for some horrible reason, I was sucking duck anus. *shakes head* Horrible. He even laughed. Good naturedly of course. *evil glare* He plays on a league.  @#*%#(.
We end up outside to smoke, he had cloves. Brought back memories of my lovely. (Also referred to as bestie and Nicole.)
He tells me that he has some sort of syndrome. He’s obsessed with plucking his eyebrows. Hmm… and eyelashes?! Where do I find these people?! Just kidding. Everyone has their issues. Mine you ask? None of your dang business. I only call out other people. Like a normal person.
He brings me home (after me getting the directions backwards, whoops! Hey. I’ve only lived here a fortnight.)
He gives me a kiss goodnight. Which is eh. And then… WHAM. My seat flies back. WTF?! And he attacks my neck. Not lovingly- with a growl and a bite. I have the mark to prove it. *shakes fist*
It was hot, but in my aunt’s driveway?! Shit son. That would’ve been my definition of H-E- double hockey sticks. Lose my earring. And here I sit today. He wants to meet again.
I’m not sure, because when I’m told a man has an insatiable sex drive… on the first date.
It’s kind of a turn off. Yikes.

 

RANDOMOCITY!
Best lines about botox ever!

Husband: "Honey, you seem strangely unmoved by the fact that the dog just ate a carving knife."
Wife: "I'm furrowing my brow with concern… on the inside."

Current jam: http://grooveshark.com/s/09+to+Return/41niDu?src=5 
Check it out.

FV Iced Extra Extra

I’ve been here three weeks, and I have managed to accomplish a pretty good amount. They say that you should remind of yourself of the good things- you know, to make sure you don’t get lost in the depressing nature of the world today. SO.
In these last three weeks, I’ve managed to get settled, found a car, found a job, and have gone on two dates. That is not normal for me… so that is a big deal, ok?!
I am coffee connoisseur. I make them just the way you like it… at Dunkin Donuts. (At 25!? Yep. Surprisingly to me, most of my workers are around my age. Hmm. Judge not. Hokay.)
If you know me at all, (which only a few of you do…) I love love love Dunkin Donuts coffee.  So in a small way I am happy to work there. The fact that I get a free coffee at work, just adds to the pot. That and I get tips. Yes!

It’s been difficult.  I had forgotten what is involved with working with the public. I have to get in the swing of things.  I’ve been the coffee runner, I mean maker, for the last two days.  I feel as though I have a hand on it.  Well I did until I took creamer out of the fridge and it was leaking out EVERY where… on me, under me, on the counter. I freaked, and threw it in the garbage, which I guess isn’t right?! She digs back in there, amongst the coffee grounds and sugar packets and grabs it out. As I sit in a stasis of what the fuck just happened?! What I do. Did I mention this was at a RUSH! So the employess were running around with their heads cut off. And there was little ol’ me trying to figure out what the fuck to do after the creamer exploded on me.  What happened next? Cup shoved in my hand, and back on the track I went. Only a few more mistakes and spillage of coffee on my NEW WHITE SNEAKERS happened in the rest of the afternoon.

I go in again tonight- I’m braced for whatever may happen. I’ve only worked mid mornings for the past couple of days. And I’m on tonight with Darlene, the boss which I can’t quite place yet personality wise, alone. Breathe in, breathe out.
Not going to lie though, the amount of eye candy that comes in on the daily is eh, but when they come through, their presence is worth the wait. Meow. Men in suits… and construction workers.
Ok, have to leave to get on this budget ordeal. Why must keeping tabs on money be so time consuming? Personal assistants needed all around.
Here’s my ad.
Wanted: Personal assistant to help get life in order.
I can pay in rice pudding, awkward laughs, and hugging. Maybe the occasional free coffee.
Must be tall, dark, handsome and wear a loin cloth.
I think I’ll be getting lots of responses.

In the beginning… there were goals.

This is the beginning of a story in which the ending is not yet known. This is going to be my story.
With entrances and departures of many people and the waves of my emotions. Phew. It’s going to be a hell of a ride.

I am a woman. I am a 25 year old living with family.  Not my immediate though, already tried that. I’m living with my Fairy Godmother (fairy is optional, though she is a true blessing) and my Spectacle of a Grandmother. 
That’s a nice way to put it.

Yes.

 

 

I woke up one day not too long ago, and realized what I was suffering from. My Quarter Life Crisis.
Where everything that my family and friends have been telling me since, I don’t know FORever?!, finally kicked in.  I wasn’t happy, I hated my job, I was in a rut. Living the same way, every weekend, putting off life. Life is scary.  I was comfortable. Until that day. I made a huge decision.
I cut off the umbilical cord ( so to speak and proverbially put on another) and decided to move. Not just cities, states.  To live where I think my heart would be happiest. But what have I found- happiness comes with a car.  Not money, but a vehicle. I don’t know how the ladies living on the plain did it. Oh, it’s probably because they worked at the house jamming jam and mashing ‘tatoes and that was their job.  They never had to worry about asking for a ride to work with your somewhat coherent grandmother that rambles about the same thing over and over, while speaking at a level only most dogs can hear. AH!

But I will over come the odds.  So I am setting goals. Scary for me. That’s because I’ve tried doing this umpteen times… but this time it will be different. This time it will be goal.

Goal for today: Write up mock budget. (With whatever meager hours I get at work.)
Goal for next week: Applied to at least five different jobs. I need more stability.
Goal for the month: Save as much money as possible. Don’t let boys bite my neck. Keep up on laundry. Avoid as many carbs as possible. Good Bye Sweet Oreo.
Goal for six months: Have enough saved to take some classes at BCC, Have a car (however it may look), have friends, lose 30 pounds.
Goal for a year: Be in school. Have a car. Pay my bills. Have a job. Lose 50 pounds.

This can’t all happen over night, I know this. I sat in bed with my mind racing for hours about how I feel like I’m using my family and that I’m stuck again. But with a little pep talk from my sister and realizing it’s just the beginning, I will not let myself get stuck again.  (If I can keep my sanity for that long.)

What’s to come in the year ahead. Hopefully moments of happiness and joy, with the limits set to low on sorrow. And high on fashion mistakes… well I hope not. Maybe I’ll even find a man. Muahaha. A girl can hope.

I need coffee. This is going to be a hell of a trip.